Dancer, Texas – Pop. 81

-Film: Dancer, Texas – Pop. 81

-Year: 1998

-Character: Terrell Lee Lusk

-Summary: This movie can be summed up in six words:

American Graffiti set in 1998 Texas.

You think we’re kidding?  This movie is a nice lil’ film about four friends finishing up high school and saying goodbye to the careless pleasures of youth while facing head-on the overwhelming reality of adulthood.  All that’s missing is Wolfman Jack!

We don’t need no Wolfman, we’ve got cattle! (and belt buckles)

PFach plays Terrell Lee, the privileged friend whose family comes from oil (Black Gold!  Texas Tea!).  He and his buddies have a sacred pact to knock the population of Dancer, Texas down to 77 when they book it to L.A. after graduation, but plans made in eighth grade or so rarely come out exactly as planned.

No way, our bromance is EPIC!!!

Who ends up going to L.A.?!?  Who caves to family pressure?  Who ends up staying in Dancer to rock big-ass belt buckles and cowboy-skinny jeans and eating fried catfish for the rest of the their lives?!?  Oh the drama!

-Fachs: This is so hardcore BabyFach, it almost beat out An Unfinished Affair!  Not only because PFach was an adorable young’un when it was made, Terrell Lee is a bigtime mama’s boy!

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

-Naked Time!  Nope, but there’s something better!!!  Ever imagined PFach covered in oil and then hosed down??  Your fantasy is here!!!

Well we didn’t say it was SEXY…

How ’bout this, then??

The hosing off is…okay, fine, we give up!

-Availability: Limited, it’s available On Demand on Amazon.com or you can buy the DVD, but it got yanked off Netflix (bastards).

-Best WTF?!? Moment: Hmm, this isn’t a very WTF-y movie, but Squirrel lusting after his dad’s girlfriend in an unholy manner probably qualifies.

-Drinking Game: Take a drink when:

• You notice a Texas-sized belt buckle
• One of the boys waffles on the decision to ditch Dancer for LA
• Small Tiny-town life is highlighted
• You think (again) “Dang, this is just like American Graffiti, but in Texas!”

-Kate’s Thoughts:

Oh Dancer, Texas…you’d think I’d like this movie more since I absolutely LOVE American Graffiti, and if you try to deny the influence one had on the other, I’d call you delusional.

Unfortunately, Dancer, Texas is a little…well…not quite as awesome.  The bromance is sweet for sure, and the eye-candy is 3/4 good.  On the downside, there is no amazeballs soundtrack (I believe my comment to Brits was “I think this is the music from The Stand“) and the individual circumstances each guy faces to shape his ultimate decision aren’t really captivating or even interesting.

Redeeming points: Slip’n'SlideFach, duh!!!

Not hawt, but endearing…

And an ending scene which gives a nod to yet another classic film, The Graduate (warning, ZOMG-okay-not-really-spoilery):

Ahhh, a happy ending!

It’s not that I dislike this movie…what’s not to love about BabyFach with a Southern accent facing a life-changing decision?  It’s just a little too un-engaging and slow-paced for me (and that’s coming from a Southern girl!)…half a thumb up and a CHUG YOUR DRINK based solely on adorable BabyFach!

-Brits’ Thoughts:

You should have seen how excited I was the day my twin and I decided to watch Dancer, Texas – Pop. 81 for our next recap. It had been months and months since I’d seen it, and all I could remember was BabyFach (WIN), Breckin Meyer and Ethan Embry (double WIN), and Slip’n'SlideFach (WIN x 100,00o,000). I was nearly vibrating out of my chair when it was time to do our little PFachwatchalong (see what I did there?). The camera panned to the four boys sitting in the middle of the road, and I squeed! BabyFach was being all adorable and I squeed! And then…. I got bored.

Well that was kinda rude….

Sorry, BabyFach, but it’s true! Somehow I had myself convinced that Dancer, Texas was some super-awesome movie, but on further review…not so much. Sadface.

Fun Fact: BabyFach became a Baby-Daddy during the filming of this movie! There’s no need to call Maury Povich, guys…the second PFach got wind that his baby girl was on the way, he was high-tailing it off set and out of Texas! By the time he made it to the hospital, little Luca Bella was already there to greet him. Awwww, so sweet… 

Now, back to the matter at hand. It’s not that the movie was horrible, per se. PFach has been in far worse productions than this coming-of-age snoozefest. Perhaps the creators of this film were so hell-bent on making sure people understood that Dancer was a sleepy little town that they wanted their audience to fall asleep as well? I don’t know, but half way through the movie, Kate and I were pinging each other just to stay awake. And the cheeseball 80′s music certainly didn’t help any.

It’s a sweet movie. The boys are adorable and good and you really feel bad for Breckin Meyer when all his friends punk out on the Big Bad L.A. move. Their four-way bromance is incredibly endearing, but at the end of the day, those few redeeming qualities just weren’t enough to hold my attention.

Terrell Lee sez: “But I’ve been banging both these chicks, that’s got to count for something, damnit!”

Terrell Lee. Could you imagine calling that name out in the heat of passion?

Me either. Yikes.

When it’s all said and done, I do recommend that you watch Dancer, Texas – Pop. 81. It’s certainly a movie that means well, but you may want to throw back a few No-Doz and chase it with a big can of Redbull before you settle in. I’ll put up a half a thumb up like my twin did, and a 5-Hour Energy…for obvious reasons.

Now, scroll down to see the shining moment of the entire movie. Slip’nSlideFach! Hooray!!!

-A BONUS FROM THE TWINS!