Telling You

-Film: Telling You

-Year: 1998

-Character: Phil Fazzulo

-Summary: On the surface, the unobservant viewer may just think this is another 90′s movie about aimlessly-drifting youth, some regret, and a sweet ending that reminds us all that no matter where each of us ends up at any pivotal point in our lives, there’s no shame in our game.  Telling You is sooooo much more than that, though…it’s a time portal.  Like a mirror into the future!  You think we’re delusional/pounding back too many fruity drinks??  BEHOLD THE FUTURE, AS TOLD FROM 1998!!!!

and…

There’s really not a whole lot more summary we can do that will top that.  PFach embraces his inner NoooYawk, besties do song/dance montages, money gets stolen, but all ends up well.  And you will definitely crave pizza while watching this, so have your local pizza-delivery-boy on speed-dial before you snuggle down to enjoy!

-Fachs: NooooYawk Fach, of course!  And BabyFach (I think we’re to the point where anything pre-2000 is automatically BabyFach)!

-Naked Time! GuidoFach talks a big game, but doesn’t actually get around to showing off the goods he’s so proud of.

-Availability: You can see the entire movie with a few annoying ad breaks if you register on IMDB.com.

-Best WTF?!? Moment: There’s not a whole lot of WTF?!? in this movie, unless you count the “microwaving dog poop” story.  That’s pretty gross.

-Drinking Game: Take a drink when:

• Jennifer Love Hewitt breaks Mariah Carey’s record for an eyeball-bursting squeal
• PFach is an adorable dumbass
• There is pizza
• Rob! hijacks the PFachWatchalong
• Your mind wanders to how this is such a 90′s movie!
• PFach’s NooooYawk accent gives you the giggles (take little sips…of water or juice, NOT likker)

FINISH YOUR DRINK: if/when you figure out the whole homeless guy touching the pizza/albatross/aimless drifting after graduation thing actually makes sense.  And then e-mail us with your theories.

-Kate’s Thoughts:

To be honest, I don’t really have thoughts about this movie…or at least profound deep thoughts that you’ve come to expect from your favorite twins!  This movie is like fun brain candy, a cross between Clueless and Can’t Hardly Wait (yeah, I went there) but with the accent that NYU apparently fought so hard to beat out of our beloved PFach!

I’m tellin’ you Kate…you love it. Yeeeeah, you do.

There’s not a lot of brains behind Phil’s character, but that’s what makes him so adorable…he’s always up for a game of Nintendo, to throw an impromptu kegger, or sing off-key songs that can only be beer-fueled.  And again, THAT is what makes him so adorable…we all need a friend like that.  Life is too serious, my friends.  Embrace your local Phil Fazzulo…you’ll appreciate him SO much more years later when you’re stressing about your mortgage and such.  Phil Fazzulo is like the honey badger…he doesn’t give a shit.

-Brits’ Thoughts:

Oh man…Telling You is one helluva blast from the past, in a good way! The stone wash jeans, the scrunchies…was JLove wearing leg warmers in that one scene?!? I dunno, but seeing the hawt fashion from the 90′s is already enough to get one of my thumbs way up! (I’m easy to please, I know).

I concur with everything my twin said above. This movie doesn’t make you think super hard. It is what it is. A heart warming 90′s movie that has some dramaz here and there, but over all it’s very feel good with plenty of material to make you LOL again and again!

Five Reasons why Telling You will give you the lulz

Reason #1: BabyNooYawkFach sings. Twice. And while the lyrics are somewhat epic in their simplicity, our boy’s lack of a crooning voice is enough to make you chuckle endearingly at him.

Some of the lyrics include but are not limited to “soccer balls” and “cookies and shit”

Reason #2: Phil Fazzulo. I don’t even have words for such a name. PFach sure ends up with some weird ass names for his characters!

Reason #3: The cross-dressing fashion show! So THIS is where the bikini dance of 2009 stemmed from! Either Rob has a secret fetish for wearing women’s swimwear (we won’t judge, he makes shiny banana hammocks look hawt!), or PFach has a knack for getting his BFF into interesting situations!

Or maybe it’s a little of both….

I think Rob has taken his fair share of abuse from his partner in crime over the years. Rob, don’t you think it’s time for your BFF to lose a bet? Just sayin’!

Reason #4: PFach’s adorable Noo Yawk accent!!! I couldn’t help but wonder throughout the entire thing, “Is that what he sounded like before NYU smacked the accent out of him?!” We may never know. And while I’m glad he doesn’t talk like that all the time, it sure is fun hearing it every now and again.

Reason #5: Dude from Romeo+Juliet was in this movie! Just when I thought it couldn’t get anymore 90′s, Dash Mihok shows up!

Benvolio sez: “By my head, here come the Capulets! Oh…nevermind…it’s just DeFranco in a bikini again….”

Anyway, for what it’s worth, I thought this movie was da bomb! No? We aren’t bringing that saying back? Fine….I truly did enjoy Telling You. It was entertaining, and I am thoroughly impressed by Rob’s mad skill at such an early age! According to IMDB, he was a writer, director, and actor in this project. The original triple threat!

Old school clothes, a charming story line, a bromance in its early stages (Rob+PFach 4-EVA), and an accent from our boy that will make you giggle like a school girl. This movie has it all! Two thumbs up, y’all!

-BONUS MATERIAL FROM THE TWINS!

PARTY ON THE RIGHT! Aaaaaaaaand…

-WHERE’S ROB?!?!?  Okay, technically we had the jump on you here, being that we called this one out in the Loosies recap.  But WHERE’S ROB?!?!?!

Here I am! *waves* In my best Swan Lake pose!