-Summary: James may have been the shining collegiate hope of his parents, but the family tradition of seafaring is impossible for him to shake. He WANTS to wake up at buttcrack o’clock to go fling around and gut dead fish! He WANTS to sink his (non-existent) life savings into a grody old boat of his own! He WANTS to live the unglamorous life of Deadliest Catch! But as usual…PARENTS JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!
-Amount of Screentime: Grand total of ACTUAL screentime? Less than ten minutes. Amount of time dedicated to talking about what a jerk he is? A bit more than that.
(Note from the Twins: As much as we love Fastlane as a whole, not every episode deserves its own individual recap. Therefore, some episodes will be recapped together, while our FAVORITES will have posts of their own! Some categories apply to the season as a whole, and will only be noted in this post, and will be noted with a **.)
-Show: Fastlane
-**Year/s: 2002-2003
-**Character: Donovan “Van” Ray
-**What is the Series About? Per Wikipedia:
Van Ray and Deaqon Hayes are two mismatched cops teamed together by shady vixen police lieutenant, Wilhelmina “Billie” Chambers, in a secretive undercover division of the Los Angeles Police Department. Operating with the motto “Everything we seize, we keep. Everything we keep, we use,” their base of operations is the “Candy Store”—a warehouse containing a fortune in confiscated cars, clothes, weapons and everything else needed to blend into the seedy criminal underworld of Los Angeles. Given criminal covers, the officers use all of the resources at their disposal to apprehend dangerous miscreants while walking the line between cop and criminal, in a close relation to the Miami Vice series.
Per the Twins: CopFach wears a limited amount of clothing, barely adheres to the thin blue line of morality by banging female perp after perp, and had the awesomest bromance with Bill Bellamy EVAR!!!! And then add in the multiple celebrity cameos, explosions galore, and rock-star cinematic style…Fastlane was DA BOMB! (Even if the original soundtrack has now gone bye-bye.)
Note from the Twins: Certain moments in PFach’s career are obviously bigger, more iconic, and more well-recognized than others. Therefore we bring you the SUPERPOST…a recap with BIGGER BETTER FASTER MORE! Enjoy!!!
-SuperPost Status: The first PFach movie many of his fans ever saw, and definitely a favorite. Even if you’re not sure if you’ve seen it, we can pretty much assure you that you have. Continue reading →
The twins (NOT US) work closely together . Maybe a little too closely (WELL OKAY MAYBE). Watch “Superhero Auditions: The Wonder Twins (with Nikki Reed)” and more funny videos on CollegeHumor. (YES THIS IS OLD, BUT IT WILL NEVER STOP BEING FUNNY! ENJOY!)
-Amount of Screen Time: Quite a bit, but not enough to really ever develop Danny as a separate character.
-Summary in Fifty Words or Less: John Hughes movie + The Big Chill + every other coming of age nostalgia movie. PFach lives in the basement as the hawt younger brother who managed to sex up his older sister’s friend/s. And NO he doesn’t look like Tom Cruise, just STFU!!!
The series chronicles the Fisher family of funeral directors who struggle with relationships and their own personal demons while trying to maintain a small funeral home.
An all-American family with corpses in the basement…
Per the Twins: A bunch of whiny annoying people run (and live in) their family funeral home business, including Claire who made us want to stab our computer screens. But PFach is in it!
-Summary: On the surface, the unobservant viewer may just think this is another 90′s movie about aimlessly-drifting youth, some regret, and a sweet ending that reminds us all that no matter where each of us ends up at any pivotal point in our lives, there’s no shame in our game. Telling You is sooooo much more than that, though…it’s a time portal. Like a mirror into the future! You think we’re delusional/pounding back too many fruity drinks?? BEHOLD THE FUTURE, AS TOLD FROM 1998!!!!
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1,
Loosies,
Superheros Auditions: Callbacks (short),
Superheros Auditions: The Wonder Twins (short),
Nurse Jackie - Season 3,
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse,
The Twilight Saga: New Moon,
Nurse Jackie - Season 2,
Nurse Jackie - Season 1,
The Twilight Saga: Twilight,
Finding Amanda,
Damages (8 episodes),
Lily,
That Guy,
Battle Olympia,
Arc,
The Lather Effect,
Touch the Top of the World,
Hollow Man II,
Blue Ridge Fall,
American Dad! ("Roger 'n Me"),
Enfants terribles,
Chloe,
Six Feet Under (9 episodes),
Fastlane (22 episodes),
The Scorpion King,
Riding in Cars With Boys,
Tempted,
Rennie's Landing/Stealing Time,
Supernova,
The Big Kahuna,
Telling You,
Can't Hardly Wait,
Dancer, Texas Pop. 81,
Calm at Sunset,
After Jimmy,
Foxfire,
An Unfinished Affair,
Law and Order ("Performance"),
Angela,
Stuff We Haven’t Seen
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (post-production),
Reaper,
Insatiable,
Enemies (pilot),
Honest,
Ropewalk,
Welcome to Hollywood,
Touch Me,
The Price of Love,
The Wright Verdicts ("Sins of the Father"),
Runaways